( it’s been long enough now that it’s clear — spike is either mia, or completely disinterested in even passing acknowledgement of buffy’s existence. which is. new, definitely. unmitigated. she’s gotten so used to him always being somewhere behind her, lurking, watching, it’s almost like her shadow has gone missing from beneath her feet.
so, that’s it, then. presumably next time she sees spike, one of them will not be leaving the interaction alive. that’s — good, she thinks, voided and empty. how it should be, if you forget the dull ache at the center of her chest, like something trapped inside is clawing to get its way out.
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8/8
( it’s been long enough now that it’s clear — spike is either mia, or completely disinterested in even passing acknowledgement of buffy’s existence. which is. new, definitely. unmitigated. she’s gotten so used to him always being somewhere behind her, lurking, watching, it’s almost like her shadow has gone missing from beneath her feet.
so, that’s it, then. presumably next time she sees spike, one of them will not be leaving the interaction alive. that’s — good, she thinks, voided and empty. how it should be, if you forget the dull ache at the center of her chest, like something trapped inside is clawing to get its way out.
maybe too belatedly to actually mean anything, )
i’m sorry.
it hurts.