SALTBURNT 🩸 inbox

[chipped]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

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SPIKE

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Comments

[thirsted]

Call it a thought experiment, to see just what kind of fellow I'd be dealing with.

From one vampire to another (and yes, I know you hardly need the advice), there are plenty of willing necks in this house if you'd simply bother to ask.

[chipped]

Yeah, I'd gathered that. Not that it's any of your business, but I needed to test something

And it's not like I killed the guy. Lucky thing, since he was looking pretty scraggly

[thirsted]

I'd say it is my business, considering who you chose to bite.

Testing what, exactly?

[chipped]

He your personal bloodbag or something? Look, I'm new, I don't know all the intricacies of Posh Evil Manor etiquette or whatever

Also none of your business. But I haven't been able to eat people in a while. Wanted to see if that changed.

1/3

[thirsted]

He's nobody's bloodbag.

2/3

[thirsted]

[ A pause, as Astarion tests out the words sweetheart, boyfriend, and beloved, and chickens out of using any of them, not least because someone so rude hardly deserves that kind of information. ]

[thirsted]

[ Finally, allowed because "none of your business" was followed by a fairly clear rundown of what was going on — and, in more seriousness, because Astarion's been through that particular gauntlet, himself: ]

I suppose that's enough of an explanation.

In answer to your previous question, I'm Astarion. I'd say it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance but I'd imagine we've already knocked that particular hurdle out of the way.

[smudgy]

everyone knows giles
talks like u but fancier
“unamused by antics”

[ direct quote. ]

1/2

[chipped]

Sorry I nibbled on your not-bloodbag, Astarion. Won't happen again.

[ Least of all because he tastes like a barrel of nuclear waste. ]

[chipped]

[ Speaking of which... ]

You know your mate's blood's gone off, right? Might want to get that looked at.

Tastes like that ultra-caffeinated lemonade that landed all those lawsuits for killing people

[chipped]

God, yeah, that's him. Should've known they'd bring him over here to spoil the party. Probably making camp in the library as we speak

1/3

[thirsted]

2/3

[thirsted]

[ ]

[thirsted]

what

[chipped]

You've tasted him, right? Blood's like battery acid.

[thirsted]

How do you know what battery acid tastes like?

[chipped]

I pour it into little blood cocktails. Eroding my innards just to keep life spicy

[thirsted]

Read 7:29 PM

[chipped]

Guess I won't be inviting you to my next battery acid cocktail party then

[smudgy]

ugh 🙄 figures
oh u can request stuff from the library btw the big one
u put it up a tube and it listens sometimes 🤷‍♀️
i’ll let u have what it gave me last time 🖤

[ which is, in fact, a large shirt that says “i love cock” so. ]

[chipped]

Put what up a tube? The request? [ He's not making any assumptions, here. ]

Thanks, I think

1/2

[smudgy]

ur dick

[smudgy]

the request, dummy

1/2

[chipped]

Ha ha very funny

[chipped]

Can think of better places to put my dick and get all my wishes granted anyway